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Fun and Fantasy Whoever said that the brain is the main sexual organ wasnít kidding.  Fact is that many people, male and female, have their own private little fantasy going on during sex, and perhaps the partner isnít even aware of it.  If imagining sheís boffing all the Knights of the Round Table really gets her going, whether the partner is in on the fantasy directly or not, great. Other people enjoy indulging in fantasies full-on, complete with role playing, props or whatever.  And of course, whatever styles, techniques or levels of intensity fuel her fire, itís worth attempting. 

Magic Ingredients

More and more couples are discovering new lubes and even herbal boosters for her libido. Having Sex or Having the Big One gives a good rundown of the options out there.  Natural stimulants can make a huge difference to each of the stages of sexual response.

That Thing She Does with Her Mouth

You know, talking.  Ohhhh yes, youíve heard it before, but itís absolutely true: the psychology of the situation is a main determinant of the quality of her orgasm or even her ability to achieve it.  Great lovers throughout history have used this guiding principle:  everything is lovemaking.  That is, the way you speak to her at breakfast or on the phone, the way you make a kind gesture, the way you tell her how you feel (assuming itís a little bit Ďo nice-nice and not a rant) Ė all of this is foreplay.  All serves to contribute to her security in the relationship and confidence, which clearly opens up her ability to trust a man and trust her own body.

When things go wrong

Sometimes, regardless of everyoneís best intentions, women have difficulty or dysfunction in one or more areas of their sex lives.  For some, the root may be at a medical or hormonal level, but in many case, sexual dissatisfaction can be overcome with a combination of relationship approaches, natural stimulants and better communication about what works.  More detail on these issues can be found in this related article.

A final roundup of advice:  take time to discover what works best for you.  Have fun and donít be embarrassed about anything that excites or pleases you.  Try something new once in a while.  Embrace self-pleasure as a way to understand the phases of female sexual response.  And if problems arise, make sure first of all that both partners are taking good care of themselves Ė physically and emotionally.

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