Mysteries and magic of the female orgasm

We live in a highly sexualized society, where everything from children’s toys to the grocery store checkout aisle are practically screaming “SEX.” But when it comes to female pleasure, there’s still a lot of mystery and misunderstanding. Most women still don’t talk frankly about sex with their doctors. We have yet to see the first rollout of a prescription drug that would be the counterpart for women of a Viagra or Cialis. Even medical researchers admit they don’t know everything about the female orgasm.

However, there’s plenty that couples can do, and many resources available to ensure she’s not getting shortchanged.  Here’s an overview to help you get started down the path to peak pleasure for her.

Female Sexual Response Cycle

In the heat of passion, it’s not too likely anyone’s thinking about “stages” or compartmentalized little steps, but medical literature does spell it out just that way, in four main stages.  That is, you won’t need this info so that you can give a big “woo hoo! We just hit stage two!”  However, it’s helpful to know a little something about how it all works, whether you’re the woman seeking ultimate pleasure or her partner who’s aiming to please.  Here are the four parts of the female sexual response cycle:
 

1. Excitement begins with sights, sounds, smells and/or ideas and anticipation, or with touching, kissing or other physical stimuli. In this stage, you’ll see or feel increased heart rate, quicker breathing, and vaginal swelling and lubrication due to increased blood flow. Often the excitement stage is an excellent arena for experimentation and the use of interesting stimulants or oils, as described in the article Having Sex or Having the Big One.
2. Plateau is the continuation of arousal, as long as stimulation continues. There’s more vaginal swelling and an increase in muscle tension. Breasts may also swell, the nipples become erect, and the uterus dips.
3. Orgasm is the climactic peak of the arousal, where  muscles in the vaginal, anus and abdomen contract in rhythm. This intensely pleasurable stage may last seconds, minutes or longer.  Some women describe orgasm as a series of diminishing waves; others say it’s like a  seismic event (hence popular references like “rock my world” or “the earth moved”).  This is the stage that most often confounds men, because they often aren’t sure what will tip her over from plateau to orgasm.  In Having Sex or Having the Big One, there are a number of tools and techniques for achieving climax described in more detail.
4. Resolution is that wiped-out, blissful state following orgasm, where the body’s revved-up functions return to normal -- blood releases away from the vagina, breasts and nipples relax, and heart rate, breathing and blood pressure go down.

It’s also important to understand that women don’t typically just boom-boom-boom through the stages in order, and in fact, that is one of the beautiful things about a great sexual session:  all the stages are pleasurable and nice, and a woman may cruise back and forth between almost-climax and back to plateau.  Playing this ebb and flow, prolonging it and drawing out the physical stages, may actually contribute to a greater, more satisfying orgasm.