Fun and Fantasy Whoever said that the brain is the
main sexual organ wasn’t kidding. Fact is that many people, male
and female, have their own private little fantasy going on during
sex, and perhaps the partner isn’t even aware of it. If imagining
she’s boffing all the Knights of the Round Table really gets her
going, whether the partner is in on the fantasy directly or not,
great. Other people enjoy indulging in fantasies full-on, complete
with role playing, props or whatever. And of course, whatever
styles, techniques or levels of intensity fuel her fire, it’s worth
attempting.
Magic Ingredients
More and more couples are discovering new lubes and even herbal
boosters for her libido. Having Sex or Having the Big One
gives a good rundown of the options out there. Natural stimulants
can make a huge difference to each of the stages of sexual response.
That Thing She Does with Her Mouth
You know, talking. Ohhhh yes, you’ve heard it before, but
it’s absolutely true: the psychology of the situation is a main
determinant of the quality of her orgasm or even her ability to
achieve it. Great lovers throughout history have used this guiding
principle: everything is lovemaking. That is, the way you
speak to her at breakfast or on the phone, the way you make a kind
gesture, the way you tell her how you feel (assuming it’s a little
bit ‘o nice-nice and not a rant) – all of this is foreplay. All
serves to contribute to her security in the relationship and
confidence, which clearly opens up her ability to trust a man and
trust her own body.
When things go wrong
Sometimes, regardless of everyone’s best intentions, women have
difficulty or dysfunction in one or more areas of their sex lives.
For some, the root may be at a medical or hormonal level, but in
many case, sexual dissatisfaction can be overcome with a combination
of relationship approaches, natural stimulants and better
communication about what works. More detail on these issues can be
found in this related
article.
A final roundup of advice: take time to discover what works best
for you. Have fun and don’t be embarrassed about anything that
excites or pleases you. Try something new once in a while. Embrace
self-pleasure as a way to understand the phases of female sexual
response. And if problems arise, make sure first of all that both
partners are taking good care of themselves – physically and
emotionally.
